The Graveyard Shift of Dead-End Jobs

Betlegeuse returns to earth, zapped-down by military-scientific misadventure and struggles to make ends meet in the “Jerry Springer” countryside of all-American trash-feuds. Once he gets here, I suppose “he’d have to put food on the table” and settle for a dead-end job, “quote/unquote”. Life is much like “the after-life”, inherit “endless dead-time” as the ecology couldn’t be all different– “pay your dues, to the system”.

“The Ghost with the Most” is the consummate salesman, though I could see him working behind the counter at a gas station, looking frazzled and sleepy-eyed as shirtless, grease-spattered hoosiers point at their smokes..

Maybe he runs a zany, discount funeral-home, selling plots of land on a former Indian burial-ground as golf-carts drive by and a forklift falls in a freshly-dug hole.

Maybe he works for “Dirt Cheap Beer & Cigarettes”, dressed in a devil costume and holding-up a sign to advertise “sin” as he’s pelted with garbage from passing cars.

Or driving an ice-cream truck through the countryside and encountering trailer-park folk  as he’s “on the run” from jealous husbands and shirtless kids skip-around in circles..

I could see him working as a junk-hauler in a beat-up old truck, or negotiating over used-cars down at a flag-strewn old lot, “cutting the check” with an old crank handle.

I think it would be funny to see him in a “Chuck-ee Cheese Suit” down at Showbiz Pizza, or whatever (– he hates “desk-jobs”). Mobbed by kids and bowled-over. Or getting thrown-up the skee-ball shoot by bikers “out, collecting debts”.

You have to pay taxes, as he navigates the unemployment line. . . . . but can’t collect insurance, “because he’s dead”. Or doesn’t have a social security card. Or proof of local state residence. Truly, “a Missourian” as he wanders through the deep south St. Louis countryside and trouble finds him.

He’d invest “in corn futures”, yet a truck would pull-up and dump corn in his driveway because he didn’t understand “what he was getting into”. It’s just “one thing, after another”, isn’t it?

Next– “Beetlejuice Apartments”


The Graveyard Shift of Dead-End Jobs

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