Hole-In-The-Wall Ambition

Starting off like many pop-culture junkies, I began as a shy 11 or 12 year-old skirting around the aisles of the video-store. In those plastic VHS tapes, a ticket to all of your dreams– living without “really living” as it was hanging on a stranded-rock of low, grungy ambition and asking the question, like so many– if I could ever work on films someday.

You know, be the shy, sheepish recluse hiding-behind a type-writer or otherwise a dream-job of pure whimsical creativity outside of hard, drudgerous work.

Think as you will, as a naive young man– but gradually the excess of self-consciousness disappears and you realize you’re in the struggle for it just like anyone else.

Film, by nature– is a highly-collaborative medium that requires a lot of follow-through and a good, strong back to stand there.

I don’t know, to otherwise be a kid with a video-camera and asked to devise something– anything– as you get over that initial threshold of laziness. Film takes a lot of study, especially to get the ole’ technical-side down and of course, they all make-it look “easy”, of course.

There before you sits “the blank page” or just “front-lens view” of ordinary life, but to really reach inside and come-up with something creative. You have to be a mini-general and somewhat of a visionary over this miserable scrap of a blank monitor or actual film-celluoid.

As they say, your cast & crew will hate you in the end, but that’s what it takes to get anywhere beyond the world of fanciful dabbling.

So there I would be with my Super Nintendo games and old Stephen King books as it was so much easier to be a decadent consumer– or allow the entertainment come to you. Evidence of personal investment, I guess– as it takes ascending levels of expertise to hit the professional “big time”. But otherwise I was a lone, isolated little dot– stranded with my thoughts and begging of the future– for life to get good.

Life changes– or maybe you just “get busier” so you forget what your original angst was all about. Otherwise, life would stand “perfectly still” and feel much like that waiting room in Beetlejuice. Hurry-up-and-wait. . . . . but wait for what?

The time to be is now, the place to be is here. Lydia in the movie wandered “if being dead” would make existence that much more tolerable. Well, no matter where you go– there you are. And unless you wanted Beetlejuice to try to arrange something junky and illicit, “this is all there is” though all the answers– if on t.v.– can’t solve much.

Fast talk and the greasy handshake– we’re so much better-off learning to help ourselves and put in that extra bit of sweaty, unpleasant exertion. Now– do it a million times and stretch-it-out over years and you might actually have a film or writing career.

Striving as always– and pleased for the dreams of fellow-travellers, write-in to share your opnion as we all bask out in the open “like a snowball in hell”. Until next time, don’t sign any written contracts you don’t understand– as a deal’s a deal, a bargain a bargain– bless my soul and self to keep– or Beetlejuice will take-it away from you and probate court.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned. . . . .

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Hole-In-The-Wall Ambition

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