Dirt Cheap Mascot

If you’ve been around St. Louis you’ll certainly know of a classy chain of cigarette and liquor stored called “Dirt Cheap”. Yeah, we like our wine, women, and sinnin’ as a discount smoke-shop and booze emporium is about as common as a Jiffy Lube– they’re all over the place and you know that getting attention on t.v. is as simple as decking-out a mascot for something cheap and entertaining.

It’s the culture– Beetlejuice likes his booze and smokes as you hit a point of libertarian independence like a gob of tobacco juice spit through yellowed teeth with the hard crease-lines of what you’d call “a hard life”.

And to make it worse– if Beetlejuice had to play a mascot, dressed-up in a devil suit and waving a pitchfork on t.v. “for the hottest prices in town”. The door in there could look like a fun-house head or kind of “Krampus devil” where Beetlejuice would show you around the floor-space, stocked with balloons and confetti and all sorts of cheap novelty like printed cardboard, gun-powder, and crude elements as you get what you pay for.

Call it the stock-house of all the essentials– beef jerky and chewing tobacco as you might as well be fitted-out in a general store in the Wild West where the basics are like a barrel of tobacco and a brass spittoon in the corner. Meat, flour, coffee– even a gold-piece “good for one screw” as the ditties are low-brow and sin as shameless and bald-faced as temptation, itself. All you need is a deck of cards and poker chips.

If you haven’t been in a Dirt Cheap before– here’s to local advertising and “in-jokes” with small businesses. Welcome to St. Louis, after-all.

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Dirt Cheap Mascot

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