All Bets off at the Riverboat Casino

slots   lydia_toothesome

Big nights at the local riverfront casino– Lydia’s not buying-it.

Let this picture of dubious, toothsome leeriness speak for the dark cynicism of youth with a kind of Huck Finn witness to adult business and casino mania.

If it’s said that prayer is the last refuge of the scoundrel, just watch Beetlejuice at the green-felt tables invoke the names of foul demons to give him luck, cocktail waitresses leaning over to serve him more martinis.

You’d sometimes see these books in Good Will thrift-bins, say “How to Win at Pac-Man” yellowing there in early ’80s vintage like bad haircuts, leisure-jackets, and even worse-looking disco-shoes as you see the proto-typical world of the computer hacker.

Why do they do it? To overcome a geometrical or mathematical challenge and post their findings as truth for the sake of truth. It’s yours to read, sure-enough as the author have published other paperbacks on “How to Win at Keno” as a kind of mechanical and computer-chip “card counter”.

Does the system work? Like a strategy or motto, like showing-off a mood ring?

Only if you have a vigorous memory for detail– and it’s amazing how much essentially-useless information is out there.

In the end, however– Beetlejuice goes with his gut. That somehow, out of all the people who ever went through a casino’s doors, that he’s somehow graced with better luck– and will leave the rest up to chance to do the job.

So many torn, empty tickets littering around the floor as I guess you’re just another one. For a few minutes, at least– to play the part of cool-tempered big-shot with a wallet of money and easy largess called “The Kansas City roll”– big bills on the outside, “a whole bunch of 1’s in the middle”.

Draw three laughing Beetlejuice faces on a haunted card deck or crazy, malfunctioning slot machine and you know management will take him outside to get beat up by company goons.

In any case, an out-stuck mope-a-muck lip with our ghoulie’s hair tangled-up in at the end of the night where there are no clocks on the wall– but only an early dawn haze on the river as he staggers home, not even “with a ghost of a chance”.

You can always bet on low-paying jobs– as that’s a loser’s certainty in the scheme of things.

All Bets off at the Riverboat Casino

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