Karma, Purgatory, Bureaucracy

  

Karma, Purgatory, Bureaucracy

“Just another number”.

Be there “no Karma about it” but THE RECENTLY DECEASED will hit that old after-life office with the thud of paperwork.

(Reminds me of the ole’ Social Security office)

Franz Kafka couldn’t have said it better, whether just the victim is mad or “THE SYSTEM”, itself is even crazier. . . . . and remember, that guy in the “Metamorphosis” story did turn into an insect. OR EVEN A BEETLE.

A lot of people “kill time” in the waiting room, bearing the incarnation they took when “struck-down, mortally”. The visual cue—its own kind of karma whether you’re a shrunken-head on the leash of a witch-doctor as it didn’t end well for the big game hunter.

Don’t go smoking in bed, either—or take poison which will turn you into an icky, translucent green like the secretary behind the sliding window.

Perky, pert, and sarcastic—if not despondent in this perfect illustrated example of the mind/body and material/spiritual splits that cleaves the world into an alienated hell.

Ole’ Beetlejuice pops his head in and takes a seat. I’d imagine him probably sticking his hand down the front of his pants like Al Bundy in “Married with Children”. Half-resourceful or maybe just fool-hardy “no one will notice” as he lopes across the parking lot to grab a cooler of beer.

You’d imagine he’d only lose his place in line.

Solely the balance between evidence and lyricism can allow us to achieve simultaneous emotion and lucidity. . . . . but there he hollers at his loss.

In this last week, we’ve lost Chris Cornell—the singer from Soundgarden—and Roger Ailles—the chairman of Fox News. Only out of an episode of “Adult Swim” could these figures every encounter each other.

The moody rock singer leans up on the chair, hang-dog with his hands stretched over his knee while the right-wing chieftain tries to bluster and glad-hand his way out of federal commitment for dinner reservations “elsewhere”.

There’s only a few things certain in this life. . . . . death, taxes, and irate constituents.

End up here and you have to meet your quota of lingering, ghostly “overtime” back on earth. Spook the hell out of the living for a spike of adrenaline and ecto-residue that kicks into your early retirement, building enough parasitically-fueled power to ascend up the spiritual pyramid to eternal bliss.

Sounds like Medicare and Social Security.

You’ll pay though. . . . . they’ll take everything “but the squeal”.

Death. Taxes. Hollywood sequels. . . . .

Welcome to America. You could die laughing. . . . .

 

“No dream”, kid. This was your life! Remember to Linger in the graveyard and pick the daisies before summoning for pizza on the Ouija board.

Advertisements
Karma, Purgatory, Bureaucracy

“Hell-Pit” and “Limbo-Land”. . . . .

Bill & Ted have a pretty good idea of what limbo would look like, spirits “flying, floating, or falling” through all the sheer voids. Could hell be a physical concept? Even so, THE NETHERWORLD is like an optical illusion of perspectives and screwball angles as logical as they are “damned just”. Just key into the imagery from “Dante’s Inferno” as it all strangely makes sense.

Beetlejuice is a creature of hell, yet an escapee “from the infinite-grind” as taking advantage “of the recently deceased” means he keeps one step ahead of taxes as he out-races “the scales of justice”. Inner circles “down the long fall, down” beget stranger properties still, like a kind of insect-mind like the subconscious where nightmares fly out of.

Strange creatures, glowing-furies, and UFO’s dart in and out of a strange realm and overlap into the world we call “commonsense”. Altered states from say, “a Ouija board” summon manifest energies as you talk about mental aberration and the psychedelic experience–dream-worlds of forbidden, altered perception.

Basically, what Beetlejuice feels after a long night of drinking and haunting and carousing, throwing-up in the toilet or otherwise “riding the porcelain bus”. Or smoking joints dipped in embalming-fluid (– for “medicinal purposes”) and otherwise sidling up to you with a chunky, poor-old-me “hard-luck story”. Can you help raise him from the dead, “jump-start him” out of the very pit of hell?

You just got to his name “three times”. . . . . “Beetlejuice SEQUEL”, “Beetlejuice SEQUEL”, “Beetlejuice SEQUEL”, to get the juices flowing and gift him the ability to entertain like the neighbor you would never invite inside your house.

So lift him out of “development hell” and let’s make this sequel happen. Thanks for following my posts, and we leave you with some eerie conceptions of hell and some of the creatures you’d meet off in limbo. The imagination is our only limit as this can happen with computers.

wpid-wp-1444570607926.jpeg   wpid-wp-1444570427443.jpeg

Back to “the drawing board” and we’ll see you back soon. Happy Samhain!!

“Hell-Pit” and “Limbo-Land”. . . . .

BJ: Faith-Healer & Televangelist

wpid-wp-1444570195909.jpeg   wpid-wp-1444570760408.jpeg

Seen, up at @

http://www.paladin-press.com/product/How_to_Get_Rich_As_a_Televangelist_or_Faith_Healer/Financial_Freedom

A book description that reads as follows:

Learn how to make a fortune as a religious con artist. This lucrative career has sustained countless scoundrels, frauds and hucksters for millennia. If you play the part right, you will be blessed with riches, power, prestige and sex.

Discover the easy, inexpensive ways to get religious credentials (and the tax-free status that goes with them), how to develop your following, how to tailor your message for maximum gain and how to weasel out of trouble when your lavish lifestyle or personal misconduct hits the fan.

Your victims will be the feeble, the old, the poor and the desperate, so this is for people with no conscience whatsoever. Get ready to stare into the hopeful faces of the lame and the terminally ill and lie, convince working people to send you their last five or ten bucks by telling them that God will return the donation a hundredfold and rob nursing home residents of what little they have as they hang on to every word you say. In return, you will give them a good show, a temporary emotional high and a hefty dose of false hope. And you will be one rich SOB!

Whether you’re actually considering a career in televangelism or just studying their methods to protect yourself or a loved one, you’ll find page after page of shocking, amusing and heartbreaking true stories from the world of religious chicanery.

Hold on to your seats, folks

Something tells me that a streak of Beetlejuice lives in motor-mouthed televangelism and other fast-talk as he could literally “fall out of his Beelzebub ways” with a laying-on of hands for a quick conversion– moving in all ways holy and dubious “as a transformed creature”.

Casting out demons, as it were– as 666 devils, goblins, snakes, and lizards pop out of his mouth in bottomless evil down at the ole’ revival tent. Spirits bump against heads of parishioners and bounce about like crazy as you have a real exorcism going on, there.

He sees the light! Now, in a cheap suit with his hair flying rotted and wild as always as “Bible Study” theology discussion takes on wild, unscripted directions. (He speaks from extensive, personal experience). Pray, work, and die– as he’s “touched with the spirit” and slathers on “the praise” with bad, rotted teeth– the empty collection plate rattles with a genuine home business– howling with “the anointing” with a touch of werewolf as the most entertaining show on local cable-access television.

A bit of faith-healing with a pinched-brow, a magician’s bag of tricks.

Going around carnivals and selling “patent medicine” from an illegal whiskey still and otherwise being much like a television kids’ show host for a bunch of skeptical, laughing 13 year-old’s as he wraps his arms around their shoulder and lures them into the revival tent– otherwise raving-on against masturbation and the like.

You’ll be rolling with holy-laughter as you haven’t seen a character “so earthy” since John the Baptist, a pinch of brimstone and a thing for cute church secretaries. A divinity degree bought online from a diploma mill as that’s “Pastor Beetle” to you.

A Bonus:

“Attention, K-mart Shoppers–“

Someone uploaded all the Muzak that played, month-to-month at K-mart stores and seems oddly appropriate, at the mention of our bargain-discount buddy as dogged shoppers push their carts down the aisles, “like walking death”.

http://boingboing.net/2015/10/11/this-guy-uploaded-a-collection.html

And also: Miss Winona is as curious about this new Beetlejuice movie as anyone, and wishes that someone would shed light on the subject. Would she consider visiting this website for some genuine inspiration?

http://www.mtv.com/news/2346647/winona-ryder-beetlejuice-2-rumors/

Back tomorrow, kids– don’t sign-away your souls as Pastor Beetle would find ways to swindle you with a contract, made “with the devil, himself” as a bit of side business. We prophesize that a fool and his money will be soon parted.

BJ: Faith-Healer & Televangelist