“Cannibal Dead-Wood”


Lost. . . . . . “in the neck of the woods” of something VERY BEETLEJUICE.

The first musical **ever** about a regionally-famous cannibal of the old American West named Alfred Packer. Brought to you by TROMA FILMS (“of courrrrssse”) and reflected by the micro-budget.

Yes, Trey Parker and Matt Stone— writing & filming “what they know” from a small mountain town up in Colorado and one of their earlier works before they got famous for SOUTH PARK on Comedy Central.

So you could see Beetlejuice up in the mountains in a checkered shirt and his wild nimbus of hair “like untreated mental illness” and a fine example of rugged frontier spirit.

Death comes riding down “on the ole’ Thunder-Chief” with plenty of tourists, off-loading with their bags as Beetlejuice befriends them. More are always coming to “Dead-Wood”.

 

Not only a land of pioneers but the requisite parasites “preying on naïve city-slickers”, be this clopping horse-hooves and a pinch of gold dust as he infests the trading post “prospecting” for victims before “run out of town on a rail”.

America was built “on fast talk” but he’d prefer HOT AIR to “hard labor”.

Why, he just “picks-up” for the next town with a miserable hang-over, plucking out the tarred-feathers and flopping down with the pigs. Living on plunder or absolute poverty “with equal ease” as he chews on a leg of mule-meat, explaining how he gets “hungry as a bear”.

  

Meanwhile, Lydia places the role of “dance-hall girl” in her bonnet and cowboys fight over her. Is Hollywood any different? I’ll take my chances in CANNIBAL DEAD-WOOD. . . . . . (?!)

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“Cannibal Dead-Wood”

Twisted Day of Thanks

 

Somewhere in the Missouri Hinterlands–

 

And what a show it is. . . . .

Sentimental classroom construction-paper projects never reckoned on this. . . . . part scientific and “haunted corn-fields” garish as “America needs its head checked”.

A Gluttonous toast to morbid feasting and “THE REMAINS” of charred turkey-carcasses, as you could draw freakish comparisons to the world of critters and redneck ecology.

   

Meanwhile, “down the road”. . . . .

What a way to ruin Thanksgiving. . . . . there must be enough MSG in that “chest-buster” to poison (Season) an entire family gathering.

Hey, when you’re here “You’re Family”.

 

(And RIP, Charles Manson. Lydia’s “pen-pal” relationship hits a dead end)

Twisted Day of Thanks

Barney of Puppets

 

Tombstones, cruelty, mayhem. . . . . BARNEY THE DINOSAUR? Of interest to ghoulish, creepy-crawly heavy metal kid of all ages as you can’t get “more twisted” than that.

To imagine “Barney’s head in the sky”, PULLING THE STRINGS. . . . .

Maybe “that’s better” than the twisted machinations of Beetlejuice “owning your soul”, as in “debt-slavery” to some other scheme, or something.

Be “MASTER, MASTER” not the record company!!!

But as they say, the entertainment world “is pretty twisted”. You probably wouldn’t want to peer “behind the scenes” too far, young metal youth.

But Metallica “could make you feel like you were part of something”, UNDERGROUND. Though by the time I heard of them “as a 12 year-old”, I think the news had traveled pretty far and wide with their big album in the early ‘90s. Lots of gory, chilling imagery to raise the hackles of teachers and parents, everywhere for “The Beavis & Butthead”, inside.

Or at least “aspirationally”, HEAVY METAL. It was like holding up “Barney’s head on a stick” IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS. I’d rather be “a rocker” than “a nerd” though you can’t take the nerd out of the rocker, essentially. Too much tangled neurological material prevented me from being much of a working-class ruffian, like a biker or hoodlum or something.

It was the tragedy of a middle-class environment with paintings, potted-plants, and housecats. An Apple Macintosh up with posters of toucans—and “Where in the World is Carmen Sandigo” on children’s afternoon PBS programming.

Why couldn’t I be a deprived, glazed-over sewer-rat?

The implications were ironic and quite staggering. . . . .

 

Barney of Puppets

1-900-CREEP

Yessir, the world had limited entertainment options “back in 1988”. Telephone “Party-Lines” were a thing– or getting lost in the labyrinth of an automated-system “for a thrill”. . . . . though the real shock was when your parents got the phone-bill. “in this world of worlds”, what do you think you, or I, or anybody “would dredge-up out there”?

      

  

Beetlejuice’s phone-line sits, “mostly unanswered” as it’s another “get-broke-quick” scheme. He’ll be “an internet millionaire in no-time”. . . . .

  

 

1-900-CREEP

Halloween 1987

Mists rising from grates, dark and glistening streets, infinite shadow and mystery.

Things loom large in the magical recesses of a young boy’s brain.

The world is open-ended at that time, dreams and nightmares—and surreal events in the gnarled, twisting unconscious as you’re “carried along” in a larger-than-life fever.

Strange tastes, smells, and sensations—one big “impressionistic montage” as fairy tales live inside.

Scary, exhilarating. . . . . . and wonderfully dangerous.

Life oozes blackly, inexorable and surreal.

Half-glimpsed references, curling back on itself in a dungeon where a bright, gap-toothed bucket of Halloween candy grins in welcome.

Happy Halloween!

 

 

And “Happy Birthday” to Winona Ryder. Long Live Lydia Deetz, “QUEEN OF THE DEAD” and Fetching morbid-angel.

Halloween 1987

Too Punk 2-Die

   

 

  

  

  

Too Punk 2-Die

From Bone-Yard to Broadway, ARISE!!!

 

In the style of “The Addams’ Family”, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” and other ookey, spooky properties Beetlejuice doffs the hat and twirls the cane in the “Bigtime, showtime”. Call it tin-pan alley or merely just a playbill for you, he will pull entertainment out of his hat “like a real song & dance man” of twisted, devilish joy for the whole family.

https://www.broadwayworld.com/article/Kerry-Butler-Danny-Pudi-Alex-Brightman-and-the-Cast-of-BEETLEJUICE-Workshop-Share-Behind-the-Scenes-Photos-20171001

  

 

From Bone-Yard to Broadway, ARISE!!!