Lobster Man from Mars…..

Down a video aisle near you….. according to the forgone graveyard of VHS Flea-Market gems for one’s stupefaction and bargain-basement delight.

A movie about “A really bad movie” shopped around to a sleazy Hollywood Mogul who seeks out a box-office “tax write-off” to dodge the wrath of the hungry IRS.

The filmmaker screens his film and the potential distributor– sitting there pulling his sweaty collar with a giant medallion– is shocked & amazed.

Like he’s privileged to witness the next “Citizen Kane” of drive-in pictures and exploitation bait, “as the market goes”. . . . . and call this a PG-rated grindhouse of zonkers fun.

The poor kid wrote, directed, produced, and edited his “bedroom-tinkered opus”.

It’s the kind of thing Beetlejuice would watch in his scuzzy dirt-mound of a dwelling at 4 A.M. on a Friday. . . . . hitting the road afterward to grab a huge sports mug of French Vanilla coffee down at the local 24-hour Quicktrip.

It’s called NEET– “N.either E.mployed, in E.ducation, or T.raining” across the rolling scrub-lands and apartment complexes of glorious marginality.

Here, the world is early-dawn-gray like a television tuned to a dead channel.

Ahhh, the joys of social-security disability.

Just don’t break into cars and find oneself in the back of a squad car or even featured on an episode of “COPS”.

GOD BLESS AMERICA, “PATRIOT”.

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Lobster Man from Mars…..

Achey-Breaky Beetlejuice

 

Hey, it’s the K-Mart Square-Dance.

Huggies, smokes, and campfire kerosene as it’s just a friendly Jeff Foxworthy jaby Yonder “The New South” and a little town called “Hope”, Arkansas.

Don’t Sell yourself short, “Country Folk”– a thick, juicy cut of BBQ’d Pork-Steak and free-market opportunity, full and robust with savory American flavor.

The American Original. . . . . a loaf of wonder bread and a sweating jar of Mayonnaise as You’re not forgotten.

  

  

Achey-Breaky Beetlejuice

Yankee Doodle Beetle

Yankee Doodle Beetle went to town, riding on some mischief. . . . .

Knocked back some Malt Liquor and Thunderbird, took lydia’s Hand and kissed it.

  

St. Louis is a Patriotic Place, you’ll never call it “A Lemon”. . . . .

HomeBound & Down, You’ll Scream for More and Impress all the pretty Women.

  

Patriotic Glory Day, you’ll Love this Groovin’ Country. . . . .

Home-Cooked Blogger’s Doggrel, we’ll leave you with the Sequel “munchies”.

  

Amateur’s Gung-Ho Stake, you’ll never get sick & Tired. . . . .

I work on this free and will never quit or get fired.

  

“The Price is Right”. . . . . thanks for sticking around! Like a dog on a ham-bone, “Development Hell” continues as we “winter” at Valley Forge.

 

Yankee Doodle Beetle